Getting from Friday to Sunday last week was hard for me. Really hard. Not that the beginning of the week was any picnic, considering I ended up in the ER for fluids on Monday. But Friday to Sunday…wow.
Here’s how it went: by the end of last week my flu symptoms had finally started to subside, and I thought I had turned the corner. But then the vertigo hit me. I was so dizzy I could barely move. I mean such dizziness I really couldn’t do anything except lay in bed and be still. And the thing is, I DESPISE being still. It’s my least favorite thing to do. I’m fidgety. I’m always flitting around doing a million things. It’s the way I’m wired. So slowing down – being STILL – and taking up one small piece of real estate on my bed for days at a time was a miserable experience for me.
But it forced me to really think about what it was we believers in Christ were remembering during those days. As I laid in bed waiting to get better, waiting for the room to stop spinning, the stillness that was being forced upon me reminded me of the stillness of waiting for Resurrection, and of the perceived hopelessness that permeated the Earth, just as I felt in the moment that my situation was hopeless.
I know it sounds absurd, almost blasphemous, to compare my situation to Jesus’s sacrifice, but I believe he wanted us to see our own stories in His. How could he do something so EPIC and yet so deeply personal? Well, theologians study this mystery their whole lives, so I guess it’s beyond the scope of a simple blog post. But I do believe he wanted us to be able to connect the dots of our own lives to the Father’s glorious plan. And He wanted us to see we have a very close companion in our suffering and at the same time a very able Savior and all-sovereign King. These are profound things to think about, I mean to really sit with, and I sat with them all weekend.
And in that time from Friday to Sunday of just lying in my bed, pondering these things, I also thought about all the things I would normally be doing: making to-do lists for the coming week, reordering stuff on Amazon, tackling the laundry, digging out from under the pile of work from my day job that still needed to be done, finalizing keys for my song set list…and I realized none of it really mattered. Not really. I mean it was important to me, and it all had consequences, but it didn’t really matter. It was all just layers of stuff. And as I kept peeling and peeling and peeling away all the stuff that obviously wasn’t THAT important (since I was lying in bed doing none of it!), it struck me that when you peel everything away, when you just keep peeling and peeling, the only thing that can’t be peeled away is Jesus. There is only Jesus, then, really, when we get down to it.
There is only Jesus.
I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I started feeling better on Resurrection Sunday.
And I think maybe getting from Friday to Sunday was supposed to be hard this year.