An uneasy relationship with rest

I’m a go-go-go person. There are always many plans, many ideas, and many goals swirling around in my mind, and I’m always anxious to move into action to execute them. My parents will tell you I’ve always been that way - happiest when doing many things. I don’t much care for being still. I’m a doer.

Being still was always a necessity I endured to plan my doing. Make a plan and execute it, then repeat.

So you can imagine my utter frustration when confronted with a new reality: my body now requires me to rest more.

In addition to the usual aging issues of midlife (I write about this from a positive perspective in a previous blog entry, “The Fullness of Midlife”), I’m also dealing with some health challenges, and with them the realization that rest is no longer a means to an end. It is an end all its own. It is logged into my daily planner in the places I used to plan action items. Now I have to plan inaction.

I have to space out activities. I have to plan ahead. I have to do the math…if I do this thing now, it means I won’t be able to do that thing later…which is more important to me? This of course also means saying “no” more. And hardest of all, sometimes it means disappointing people.

I’m mourning these new limitations. It’s hard not to think about all I’m missing.

But I’ve decided that as I wrestle through this new and uneasy relationship with rest, I will also try to focus on the opportunities it presents. I can practice the discipline of cutting out unessential distractions. I can be more intentional about balance. I can work on cultivating a quieter spirit and listen more for God’s guidance. I can slowly, moment by moment, work on getting better at the thing I most dislike: being still.

It’s amazing how our Father leads us, even in times of hardship, into the places we most need to go.

Reflection Questions

Do you also sometimes have an uneasy relationship with rest? If so, how do you make peace with the need to rest?

I am such a doer. When I’m not “doing,” I often feel guilty for not being productive. Do you ever feel this way, too? How do you balance your “doing” with resting (and I’d love to hear any tips you have!)?

Can you think of a time the Lord has led you into growth through a difficult circumstance?

Psalm 23:1-3 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down beside still waters. He restores my soul.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”